I have talked about how parents disagreeing can make children anxious.  Often parents don’t know why they react to their partner in a certain way.  Maybe there was someone in your childhood who provoked a similar reaction?  Are you getting your partner mixed up with them or think that they are just like them?  Was it a brother or a sister? Mum or Dad?  Disentangle them, remember what you liked about your partner.  Start again.  This is not that person.  Try not to react to them as though they were.   We are all more influenced by our childhood than we think.  Often  individual counselling can help us  to move in a different direction when we find ourselves stuck, or a Family Therapist if one of our children seems to be ‘just like so-and-so’ and keeps rubbing us up the wrong way!